A few days ago, I walked into my therapist's office and was diagnosed with dermatillomania. This had been a long time coming, but in my usual way I didn't really think there was much to be concerned about. I don't really know how I feel about it all. In one way, it's kind of relieving … Continue reading Dermatillomania and self harm – twins or neighbours?
I am underwater. The sea pushes above me, laps next to me, scatters as I move. Here, I am me. Being within the crashing ocean is where I feel most safe. I feel free from the overwhelming constraints of life on land. My limbs are weightless, and the ocean cushions me. Underwater, sound is a … Continue reading Saltwater & Mental Health
We lose daily. We lose moments, we lose hours, we lose pegs. We lose so that there is room to gain. I am a strong believer in the "realm of possibility" (thanks to David Levithan); in the infinite world of potential. Each moment is a door, each interaction is an opportunity. Within the realm, nothing … Continue reading Not all that we lose is a loss.
Having labels can be both really detrimental, and really helpful. To label a collection of symptoms, it becomes defined and certain. It is steadfast within the limits of the diagnosis. In the mental illness world, having the right diagnoses enables you to get the right treatment and support. However, beyond this healing work, labels can … Continue reading Labels and you; who is who?
Summer. It's my favourite season of the year. There's something about the constant hum of cicadas clicking, saltwater in your hair, and the thick layers of sunblock to protect against the ozone hole. Here in New Zealand, summer means Christmas, a beautiful phenomenon that seems just as magical as a snowy Christmas. The majority of … Continue reading Summer & bodies; not “summer bodies”.
As most children are, I too was quite dedicated in the avoidance of practising my extra-curricular activities. Although I loved the pool, I couldn't bring myself to swim laps outside of lessons, unless it was just for fun. And while I enjoyed dance during studio time, beyond that, could my parents please just sign the … Continue reading Avoidance, therapy homework & vulnerability.
Perfectionism is something that is sought within, an ever-increasing height that we strive to leap over. It is impossible to reach, but the attempt is forever. Perfectionism is cruel, unhealthy; a dark shadow that clouds. Everything I find most beautiful in nature, isn't perfect. In fact, it's wonderfully flawed. Each element is different and intricate … Continue reading Perfectionism and it’s shadow.
As the end of high school approached, it was drilled into each of us that we must have a plan. We were given pages upon pages of post-school propaganda, detailing everything from entering the armed forces, to university, to joining the sisterhood. There were countless career fairs and talks by people "from the industry", which … Continue reading Choosing your path. Or walking around.
At fifteen, I sobbed in the changing room at the sight of purple indents curling their way across my newfound curves. This cry echoes across the world. Just traipse the internet, magazines, conversations and strategic swimwear. The bounty of insecurity and shame is immense. All these years later, I still see these silly little lines … Continue reading Tigers & Lightning: Stretch Marks & Shame.